Thursday, August 23, 2012

Downsizing My Life

I think I've decided to use this blog to document my ~*journey to discovering myself*~ or some other cliche sentiment like that.   I've changed a lot over the past year or so, but I sort of got stuck at realizing what was wrong in my life.  I still haven't fully decided "who I am" or how I want to live the rest of my life.  Obviously a lot of what I post will still relate to makeup, hair, nails, and clothes.  That's probably a lot more fun for you to read about, and a lot easier for me to write about, than addressing all the other issues I have with my life.   I still have a lot of problems to work on, many of which I'm terrified to even address.  So for now, I'll start with the obvious, tangible things.

As was probably evident from my original post on here, I have this problem with excess stuff.  For several years, I collected absurd amounts of makeup and clothing, most of it unused.  I was watching my old Youtube haul videos last night, and wanting to reach through the screen to slap myself for such utterly frivolous spending.  Probably at least 80% of what I bought, I didn't wear more than once or twice.  Easily 30-50% of what I bought from the thrift store, I never even wore.  I gave away heaps of things with tags still attached.  So what if they were $1-3 each?  For even 50 items, that's probably around $100 I didn't have to spend.

It took me a long time to overcome the mindset of "Oh this could be cute, I could style an outfit around this," because let's face it, as much as I love fashion, I roll out of bed in the morning and throw on whatever I can find in time to get me to class before I'm late.  Within the past year, I finally came to a point where I ask myself, "Do I love this?  Will I WANT to wear this, rather than push it to the back of my closet for a day when I have nothing to do but play with ridiculous clothing?"  Then I ask myself, "Do you even look good in this?"  I had a tendency to buy things that I really really liked, that looked awful on me.  Loose top and tight bottom does very little for a pear shape with nothing up top and large hips, so I had to learn to keep my flowy pieces mainly to skirts.

I looked for pictures, and I may make a future blog post with them if I can find them eventually, of my old makeup storage.  Four or 5 large Sterilite 3-drawer containers at least half full of makeup--I tend to arrange things on the bottom of the drawers, but don't like to stack things multiple layers deep--with extras piled on top of and around them.  (Note, when I say "large" I mean the ones with drawers about the size of sheets of paper, not the enormous ones the size of dresser drawers.)  This eventually expanded into another set of drawers on the floor, although there were only 2 or 3 drawers of that which actually held makeup.

Similarly, my wardrobe didn't fit in my room, much less in my closet.  I had a closet with a rod about 3 or 4 feet long, and I had that crammed full, a dresser crammed full, several other boxes on shelves crammed full, and was occupying part of the guest room closet, and I still ended up hanging clothes from my bunk bed almost all the time, because they just didn't fit anywhere.  

Last summer, the guy I was dating was a bit of a minimalist fanatic, and while I'd never wish to take my life to that extreme--as admirable as it may be--he encouraged me to get rid of all the excess I'd accumulated.  It was incredibly liberating to empty my room of probably 50-70% of the clothing that I'd owned, as well as probably 40-50% of my makeup.

This summer, I'm trying to do that again.  Even for the relatively small amount of clothing I brought with me to college, and the comparatively small amount I've purchased since being here (as opposed to an enormous bag from the thrift store at least once a week, plus other assorted shopping trips), I still have a lot that I don't need.  At this point, it's harder, though, because I LIKE everything that I own.  There are no longer dozens of pieces in my closet that I've never worn nor do I have much desire to wear.  I love everything I currently have, and I'd wear it all if I could.  But I can't.  There is no reason for me to own this much, and for that reason, I am cutting it down to as little as I see possible.

I don't want to have nothing to wear.  While in some ways I wish I were the type of person who's just fine with wearing the same few pairs of jeans and T shirts every day, I do enjoy fashion, and I do like having a variety of things to dress up in.  I don't want to whittle my closet down to as little as I can get through the week with, but I don't want to be embarrassed and ashamed of the amount of clothing that I own.  I want to feel that what I have is justified and reasonable.

Sweaters, cardigans, and shirts currently in my closet

Skirts and dresses currently in my closet.

Shoe rack purchased last week from Goodwill for $8.

Purses currently in my closet.  
I feel like the amount that I have may be a bit excessive, but I like having purses to match my outfits, and with the exception of about 4 of them, all were $2-3 from thrift stores.

My "maybe" pile of clothing I'm not sure I want to keep.

My give-away piles + purses (in addition to 4 pairs of shoes, not pictured)

Aaaand a gorgeous notebook I got from Walmart today while I was attempting to buy things for when school starts again in a month.  I'm not sure what I want to use it for yet, but I couldn't pass it up.  I have a "thing" for pretty notebooks.

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