As I'm establishing--or, struggling to establish, anyway--my rules and limits for what I'm allowed to buy (more on that coming as soon as I've gotten all of it figured out), I'm finding it incredibly odd. I'm happier, much happier, with my spending habits and purchases recently. From a logical standpoint, anyway. I'm not used to going to the thrift store and picking out one item that I LOVE from a pile of things that I like. I'm used to walking out with the entire pile. I'm not used to going into a drugstore and coming out with two items of makeup I'll use almost daily. I'm used to going in and coming out with $30 (or more) of whatever was on sale and clearance. I'm not used to coming home from a shopping trip and having gotten useful things. No makeup to swatch, no clothing to try on, no haul video to film. Just toothpaste and floss. Just compressed air to clean out my computer. Just a storage box for my closet.
I'm proud of myself. I'm elated that I can walk through the makeup aisles in Walmart and no longer HAVE to buy anything. I can go in there to pick out one item that I'd decided in advance that I wanted. I can go to Goodwill and try on 10 pieces of clothing, then fairly easily convince myself that I'm not going to buy anything unless I love it, and end up with just a skirt. But it feels so empty.
It was a hole that shouldn't have been there. A hole I'm trying to get rid of without filling it, but it would be so much easier to just do that. I know I shouldn't, and I know I can't. I can't afford to go back to that lifestyle. If I did it now, I know I would regret it. I would hate myself. But I would still enjoy that high while it lasted.
So I did go shopping today. And I think I did fairly well. As I insinuated, much better than I would have this time about a year ago. I went to Walmart and came out with the skirt hangers I'd intended to buy, a brown mascara like I was looking for, toothpaste and floss because bad breath isn't cute, and a green Sterilite box for under-bed storage in the dorm this year. I did make an impulse buy, but it was something I've been wanting to try for a while. I've literally been eyeing these masks for years, and I've always wanted to try them, but for some reason never did it. I know they're ridiculously overpriced for their one-time-use sizes, but I couldn't find the Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque anywhere, so I decided to give some of them a try.
Maybelline Great Lash Lots of Lashes in Brownish Black
Masks in Pomegranate, Pineapple, Mint & Lemon, Cucumber, and Dead Sea Minerals.
Then I went to Goodwill and tried on a wide variety of clothing with the intention of buying a lot more than I did, and that's what I'm happiest about today. I was willing to let myself buy several additional things. I WANTED to like them, but since I didn't love them, I had no desire to buy them. Admittedly, one of the other things, I would have gladly bought, had it fit me, but it was a size XS and wouldn't quite zip past the chest area, so clearly that was out of the question.
I got one skirt, and it did need a bit of repair on the back by the zipper, which I actually only realized after I got it home, but luckily it was a quick fix--5 minutes with a needle and thread--fortunate, since my sewing machine seems to currently be out of commission. It was unlike anything I already have, as I don't have many light colored skirts or skirts made of a woven material. Most of mine, especially my casual skirts, are stretchy knits, because overall I find those more comfortable. This one fit me perfectly around the waist, though, and was just the right level of swishy and floofy, as well as being my favorite just-below-the-knee length. For $4.99, I think I'll get a lot of use out of it.
Tonight inspired what I plan to make one of my rules for shopping in the future. If I buy something intending to fix it up, it must be fixed the following time I have access to the materials (and time) to fix it. So many of the clothes I got rid of last week were clothes I'd bought from Goodwill intending to alter them slightly so I could wear them, and then I got distracted by more exciting sewing projects and never got around to them.